Saturday, August 28, 2010
commentary and 2 conversations
we take the justice we can get
every one is expendable i’m opening a new chic bistro prior guests will be listed on the menu we slice dice prepare any way you like sushi deep fried mesquite oven grilled baked accessories make the dish ginger pickles lime asparagus mustard and a drizzle of wine deer urine cider mole sauces i haven’t decided yet on restaurant décor possibly post-modern austere but please write in suggestions everything must be totally freshly tossed killed tableside i want the kitchen immaculate industrial sized everything yet we roast minuscule tidbits frivolous details infused with essences reduction bio-molecular cuisine an entire 20 course meal in a tear drop obviously presentation is everything Channel Comme des Garcons Lamborghini will design plate arrangement after you’ve enjoyed a lavish sumptuous meal you become edible i mean eligible to provide for more recent patrons please hold still while the knife carves and oh how about those miners in Chile real theater i just read NASA’s Kepler satellite is selecting candidates for earth’s substitute the article repeatedly used the word candidates let’s just totally waste this place the faster we trash the world the sooner we get a new planet best weekly performance British Petroleum gulf oil debacle second best Hillandale Farms incredible salmonella egg
comedy tragedy dialogue
COMEDY come sit closer let’s share a laugh want to hear a joke
TRAGEDY i hate jokes
COMEDY you’re funny
TRAGEDY shut up you freaking clown
COMEDY there’s more to me than clowning
TRAGEDY oh yeah (pause) what? you pandering fool (pause) in my eyes every winking snicker is compromise collusion there’s nothing about you i like
COMEDY hater (pause) man you’re mean
TRAGEDY mean and unreasonable
COMEDY scary mean unreasonable (pause) yet funny
TRAGEDY screw you (pause) mortality is tragic the world is wicked what’s funny about stoning people to death or raping disfiguring women children or cheating enslaving the poor underprivileged this earth is a horrible place what the hell is so funny
COMEDY you you’re a joke a sad dismal joke the good news is i interpret humor in everything life is funny
TRAGEDY you’re a pitiful simpleton who perceives all existence from one lame brain viewpoint you can’t distinguish happy from sad good from evil you’re a mindless empty screen of canned laughter maybe some things aren’t meant to be laughed at or humor drawn from maybe you’re a rude mocking idiot what is so goddamned funny
COMEDY what is so goddamned funny (pause) i’m not laughing (pause) try stepping back getting a different perspective change your psychology consider the futility of existence fate of humankind
TRAGEDY we all do what we have to (pause) mind if i smoke (lights a cigarette)
COMEDY that’ll kill you (smirks laughter)
TRAGEDY we’re all fated to die
COMEDY you really need to see the absurdity in your gloom
TRAGEDY please go
COMEDY why do you have to be such a hard-ass why can’t we just get along we could create some wonderful art i really think we’d be good together
TRAGEDY i warning you
COMEDY i get the feeling we’re not going to be friends
TRAGEDY fast thinking (pause) go play with your happy snickering friends and leave me alone
COMEDY must we be enemies
TRAGEDY deal with it
COMEDY you’re going to miss me
TRAGEDY maybe maybe not (pause) these are dark troubled times
COMEDY why must everything be so serious with you
TRAGEDY if you persist i will be forced to turn this banter into regrettable disaster
COMEDY funny how things don’t work out
TRAGEDY yeah funny (pause) i guess the joke is on me
fate free will dialogue
FATE we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail imaging myself triumphant inventing as i go
FATE what if you discovered your choices were influenced by forces outside you
FREE WILL i alone am responsible for my choices
FATE i’m not speaking about responsibilities
FREE WILL what are you speaking of
FATE there are aspects you may not realize
FREE WILL that’s bullshit a person creates his or her own destiny
FATE do you believe Jesus Christ created his own destiny or John F. Kennedy Martin Luther King John Lennon
FREE WILL what are you saying
FATE there were circumstances cycles aspects forces possibly predetermined powers events ghosts
FREE WILL horseshit we are presented with existential choices our actions determine our destiny
FATE our actions determine our destiny huh what influences determine our actions
FREE WILL a person’s character courage discipline strength
FATE what forms a person’s character
FREE WILL parents circumstances cycles aspects forces the era
FATE hmmm near to what i was suggesting yet who can know why or how a few chosen make it while many others go bust or when where lightning strikes
FREE WILL so what do you believe? (pause) i’m speculating most people obey conform deaf to their own calling falling short of their dreams enduring lives of hushed disquiet
FATE hmmm we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail inventing as i go alert to my calling
FATE uhhh i’m not as certain as you i admire your confidence conviction independence
FREE WILL hey i’m straight
FATE whatever
every one is expendable i’m opening a new chic bistro prior guests will be listed on the menu we slice dice prepare any way you like sushi deep fried mesquite oven grilled baked accessories make the dish ginger pickles lime asparagus mustard and a drizzle of wine deer urine cider mole sauces i haven’t decided yet on restaurant décor possibly post-modern austere but please write in suggestions everything must be totally freshly tossed killed tableside i want the kitchen immaculate industrial sized everything yet we roast minuscule tidbits frivolous details infused with essences reduction bio-molecular cuisine an entire 20 course meal in a tear drop obviously presentation is everything Channel Comme des Garcons Lamborghini will design plate arrangement after you’ve enjoyed a lavish sumptuous meal you become edible i mean eligible to provide for more recent patrons please hold still while the knife carves and oh how about those miners in Chile real theater i just read NASA’s Kepler satellite is selecting candidates for earth’s substitute the article repeatedly used the word candidates let’s just totally waste this place the faster we trash the world the sooner we get a new planet best weekly performance British Petroleum gulf oil debacle second best Hillandale Farms incredible salmonella egg
comedy tragedy dialogue
COMEDY come sit closer let’s share a laugh want to hear a joke
TRAGEDY i hate jokes
COMEDY you’re funny
TRAGEDY shut up you freaking clown
COMEDY there’s more to me than clowning
TRAGEDY oh yeah (pause) what? you pandering fool (pause) in my eyes every winking snicker is compromise collusion there’s nothing about you i like
COMEDY hater (pause) man you’re mean
TRAGEDY mean and unreasonable
COMEDY scary mean unreasonable (pause) yet funny
TRAGEDY screw you (pause) mortality is tragic the world is wicked what’s funny about stoning people to death or raping disfiguring women children or cheating enslaving the poor underprivileged this earth is a horrible place what the hell is so funny
COMEDY you you’re a joke a sad dismal joke the good news is i interpret humor in everything life is funny
TRAGEDY you’re a pitiful simpleton who perceives all existence from one lame brain viewpoint you can’t distinguish happy from sad good from evil you’re a mindless empty screen of canned laughter maybe some things aren’t meant to be laughed at or humor drawn from maybe you’re a rude mocking idiot what is so goddamned funny
COMEDY what is so goddamned funny (pause) i’m not laughing (pause) try stepping back getting a different perspective change your psychology consider the futility of existence fate of humankind
TRAGEDY we all do what we have to (pause) mind if i smoke (lights a cigarette)
COMEDY that’ll kill you (smirks laughter)
TRAGEDY we’re all fated to die
COMEDY you really need to see the absurdity in your gloom
TRAGEDY please go
COMEDY why do you have to be such a hard-ass why can’t we just get along we could create some wonderful art i really think we’d be good together
TRAGEDY i warning you
COMEDY i get the feeling we’re not going to be friends
TRAGEDY fast thinking (pause) go play with your happy snickering friends and leave me alone
COMEDY must we be enemies
TRAGEDY deal with it
COMEDY you’re going to miss me
TRAGEDY maybe maybe not (pause) these are dark troubled times
COMEDY why must everything be so serious with you
TRAGEDY if you persist i will be forced to turn this banter into regrettable disaster
COMEDY funny how things don’t work out
TRAGEDY yeah funny (pause) i guess the joke is on me
fate free will dialogue
FATE we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail imaging myself triumphant inventing as i go
FATE what if you discovered your choices were influenced by forces outside you
FREE WILL i alone am responsible for my choices
FATE i’m not speaking about responsibilities
FREE WILL what are you speaking of
FATE there are aspects you may not realize
FREE WILL that’s bullshit a person creates his or her own destiny
FATE do you believe Jesus Christ created his own destiny or John F. Kennedy Martin Luther King John Lennon
FREE WILL what are you saying
FATE there were circumstances cycles aspects forces possibly predetermined powers events ghosts
FREE WILL horseshit we are presented with existential choices our actions determine our destiny
FATE our actions determine our destiny huh what influences determine our actions
FREE WILL a person’s character courage discipline strength
FATE what forms a person’s character
FREE WILL parents circumstances cycles aspects forces the era
FATE hmmm near to what i was suggesting yet who can know why or how a few chosen make it while many others go bust or when where lightning strikes
FREE WILL so what do you believe? (pause) i’m speculating most people obey conform deaf to their own calling falling short of their dreams enduring lives of hushed disquiet
FATE hmmm we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail inventing as i go alert to my calling
FATE uhhh i’m not as certain as you i admire your confidence conviction independence
FREE WILL hey i’m straight
FATE whatever
commentary and 2 conversations
we take the justice we can get
every one is expendable i’m opening a new chic bistro prior guests will be listed on the menu we slice dice prepare any way you like sushi deep fried mesquite oven grilled baked accessories make the dish ginger pickles lime asparagus mustard and a drizzle of wine deer urine cider mole sauces i haven’t decided yet on restaurant décor possibly post-modern austere but please write in suggestions everything must be totally freshly tossed killed tableside i want the kitchen immaculate industrial sized everything yet we roast minuscule tidbits frivolous details infused with essences reduction bio-molecular cuisine an entire 20 course meal in a tear drop obviously presentation is everything Channel Comme des Garcons Lamborghini will design plate arrangement after you’ve enjoyed a lavish sumptuous meal you become edible i mean eligible to provide for more recent patrons please hold still while the knife carves and oh how about those miners in Chile real theater i just read NASA’s Kepler satellite is selecting candidates for earth’s substitute the article repeatedly used the word candidates let’s just totally waste this place the faster we trash the world the sooner we get a new planet best performance British Petroleum gulf oil debacle second best Hillandale Farms incredible salmonella egg
comedy tragedy dialogue
COMEDY come sit closer let’s share a laugh want to hear a joke
TRAGEDY i hate jokes
COMEDY you’re funny
TRAGEDY shut up you freaking clown
COMEDY there’s more to me than clowning
TRAGEDY oh yeah (pause) what? you pandering fool (pause) in my eyes every winking snicker is compromise collusion there’s nothing about you i like
COMEDY hater (pause) man you’re mean
TRAGEDY mean and unreasonable
COMEDY scary mean unreasonable (pause) yet funny
TRAGEDY screw you (pause) mortality is tragic the world is wicked what’s funny about stoning people to death or raping disfiguring women children or cheating enslaving the poor underprivileged this earth is a horrible place what the hell is so funny
COMEDY you you’re a joke a sad dismal joke the good news is i interpret humor in everything life is funny
TRAGEDY you’re a pitiful simpleton who perceives all existence from one lame brain viewpoint you can’t distinguish happy from sad good from evil you’re a mindless empty screen of canned laughter maybe some things aren’t meant to be laughed at or humor drawn from maybe you’re a rude mocking idiot what is so goddamned funny
COMEDY what is so goddamned funny (pause) i’m not laughing (pause) try stepping back getting a different perspective change your psychology consider the futility of existence fate of humankind
TRAGEDY we all do what we have to (pause) mind if i smoke (lights a cigarette)
COMEDY that’ll kill you (smirks laughter)
TRAGEDY we’re all fated to die
COMEDY you really need to see the absurdity in your gloom
TRAGEDY please go
COMEDY why do you have to be such a hard-ass why can’t we just get along we could create some wonderful art i really think we’d be good together
TRAGEDY i warning you
COMEDY i get the feeling we’re not going to be friends
TRAGEDY fast thinking (pause) go play with your happy snickering friends and leave me alone
COMEDY must we be enemies
TRAGEDY deal with it
COMEDY you’re going to miss me
TRAGEDY maybe maybe not (pause) these are dark troubled times
COMEDY why must everything be so serious with you
TRAGEDY if you persist i will be forced to turn this banter into regrettable disaster
COMEDY funny how things don’t work out
TRAGEDY yeah funny (pause) i guess the joke is on me
fate free will dialogue
FATE we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail imaging myself triumphant inventing as i go
FATE what if you discovered your choices were influenced by forces outside you
FREE WILL i alone am responsible for my choices
FATE i’m not speaking about responsibilities
FREE WILL what are you speaking of
FATE there are aspects you may not realize
FREE WILL that’s bullshit a person creates his or her own destiny
FATE do you believe Jesus Christ created his own destiny or John F. Kennedy Martin Luther King John Lennon
FREE WILL what are you saying
FATE there were circumstances cycles aspects forces possibly predetermined powers events ghosts
FREE WILL horseshit we are presented with existential choices our actions determine our destiny
FATE our actions determine our destiny huh what influences determine our actions
FREE WILL a person’s character courage discipline strength
FATE what forms a person’s character
FREE WILL parents circumstances cycles aspects forces the era
FATE hmmm near to what i was suggesting yet who can know why or how a few chosen make it while many others go bust or when where lightning strikes
FREE WILL so what do you believe? (pause) i’m speculating most people obey conform deaf to their own calling falling short of their dreams enduring lives of hushed disquiet
FATE hmmm we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail inventing as i go alert to my calling
FATE uhhh i’m not as certain as you i admire your confidence conviction independence
FREE WILL hey i’m straight
FATE whatever
every one is expendable i’m opening a new chic bistro prior guests will be listed on the menu we slice dice prepare any way you like sushi deep fried mesquite oven grilled baked accessories make the dish ginger pickles lime asparagus mustard and a drizzle of wine deer urine cider mole sauces i haven’t decided yet on restaurant décor possibly post-modern austere but please write in suggestions everything must be totally freshly tossed killed tableside i want the kitchen immaculate industrial sized everything yet we roast minuscule tidbits frivolous details infused with essences reduction bio-molecular cuisine an entire 20 course meal in a tear drop obviously presentation is everything Channel Comme des Garcons Lamborghini will design plate arrangement after you’ve enjoyed a lavish sumptuous meal you become edible i mean eligible to provide for more recent patrons please hold still while the knife carves and oh how about those miners in Chile real theater i just read NASA’s Kepler satellite is selecting candidates for earth’s substitute the article repeatedly used the word candidates let’s just totally waste this place the faster we trash the world the sooner we get a new planet best performance British Petroleum gulf oil debacle second best Hillandale Farms incredible salmonella egg
comedy tragedy dialogue
COMEDY come sit closer let’s share a laugh want to hear a joke
TRAGEDY i hate jokes
COMEDY you’re funny
TRAGEDY shut up you freaking clown
COMEDY there’s more to me than clowning
TRAGEDY oh yeah (pause) what? you pandering fool (pause) in my eyes every winking snicker is compromise collusion there’s nothing about you i like
COMEDY hater (pause) man you’re mean
TRAGEDY mean and unreasonable
COMEDY scary mean unreasonable (pause) yet funny
TRAGEDY screw you (pause) mortality is tragic the world is wicked what’s funny about stoning people to death or raping disfiguring women children or cheating enslaving the poor underprivileged this earth is a horrible place what the hell is so funny
COMEDY you you’re a joke a sad dismal joke the good news is i interpret humor in everything life is funny
TRAGEDY you’re a pitiful simpleton who perceives all existence from one lame brain viewpoint you can’t distinguish happy from sad good from evil you’re a mindless empty screen of canned laughter maybe some things aren’t meant to be laughed at or humor drawn from maybe you’re a rude mocking idiot what is so goddamned funny
COMEDY what is so goddamned funny (pause) i’m not laughing (pause) try stepping back getting a different perspective change your psychology consider the futility of existence fate of humankind
TRAGEDY we all do what we have to (pause) mind if i smoke (lights a cigarette)
COMEDY that’ll kill you (smirks laughter)
TRAGEDY we’re all fated to die
COMEDY you really need to see the absurdity in your gloom
TRAGEDY please go
COMEDY why do you have to be such a hard-ass why can’t we just get along we could create some wonderful art i really think we’d be good together
TRAGEDY i warning you
COMEDY i get the feeling we’re not going to be friends
TRAGEDY fast thinking (pause) go play with your happy snickering friends and leave me alone
COMEDY must we be enemies
TRAGEDY deal with it
COMEDY you’re going to miss me
TRAGEDY maybe maybe not (pause) these are dark troubled times
COMEDY why must everything be so serious with you
TRAGEDY if you persist i will be forced to turn this banter into regrettable disaster
COMEDY funny how things don’t work out
TRAGEDY yeah funny (pause) i guess the joke is on me
fate free will dialogue
FATE we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail imaging myself triumphant inventing as i go
FATE what if you discovered your choices were influenced by forces outside you
FREE WILL i alone am responsible for my choices
FATE i’m not speaking about responsibilities
FREE WILL what are you speaking of
FATE there are aspects you may not realize
FREE WILL that’s bullshit a person creates his or her own destiny
FATE do you believe Jesus Christ created his own destiny or John F. Kennedy Martin Luther King John Lennon
FREE WILL what are you saying
FATE there were circumstances cycles aspects forces possibly predetermined powers events ghosts
FREE WILL horseshit we are presented with existential choices our actions determine our destiny
FATE our actions determine our destiny huh what influences determine our actions
FREE WILL a person’s character courage discipline strength
FATE what forms a person’s character
FREE WILL parents circumstances cycles aspects forces the era
FATE hmmm near to what i was suggesting yet who can know why or how a few chosen make it while many others go bust or when where lightning strikes
FREE WILL so what do you believe? (pause) i’m speculating most people obey conform deaf to their own calling falling short of their dreams enduring lives of hushed disquiet
FATE hmmm we each journey a path
FREE WILL i choose my own trail inventing as i go alert to my calling
FATE uhhh i’m not as certain as you i admire your confidence conviction independence
FREE WILL hey i’m straight
FATE whatever
Friday, August 20, 2010
catfight
Daisy Duke Danica Patrick dialogue
DANICA this is preposterous and an embarrassment to my career image
DAISY oh yeah ya think so
DANICA 1st off you’re simply a fictional character i’m a real live race-car driver 2nd you’re a hillbilly tramp who most likely had sex with both cousins Bo and Luke behind Uncle Jesse’s barn
DAISY who you calling a tramp you venomous bitch i did not have sexual relations with those boys (pause gaze averted)
DANICA bare-foot traipsing around Hazzard County dressed like a rural Dixie belle acting all ingénue
DAISY you ain’t got no manners woman were you raised in the south
DANICA Beloit Wisconsin then Roscoe Illinois for your bird-brained information
DAISY ya know in a vague way you owe me
DANICA owe you what you Appalachian Deliverance banjo slut
DAISY i was laying down rubber pedal to the metal gravel dust road in my ’74 yellow Plymouth Road Runner before you was ever born
DANICA what’s that supposed to mean granny i thought you drove a Jeep CJ-7
DAISY it means my fictional character put a seed in the mind’s eye i planted the thought of a female warrior on the racetrack you understand i trail blazed through Georgia back country all you are is just a graduated knock-off of me
DANICA you tawny scrawny pigeon-toed knock-kneed backwoods cretin wouldn’t know your ass from a hole in the ground behind the steering wheel of a Dallara chassis Honda engine open-wheel race-car and if you think i owe you then you must think i owe Janet Guthrie Lyn St. James Sarah Fisher also screw you honky ass rebel whore
DAISY girl you got a mouth on you bet you know how to use it in the dark i bet that’s how you got to where you are i know about those FMH pictures
DANICA what i beg your pardon i earned my stripes on the racetrack
DAISY on your knees with your mouth in the shape of 0
DANICA white trash redneck witch! i hate you
DAISY now Danica calm down remember to breath and remember i’m just a fictional character didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers so bad
DANICA all right ok maybe i was a little too hasty to judge and maybe we did just get off on the wrong foot you know Godaddy is looking for someone vintage yet lovely enduring like you
DAISY you’re sweet Danica but my acting days are done i think you look real pretty in electric lime green good luck at NASCAR but i think you do better at Indy that’s just my opinion
DANICA you just might be right Daisy i’m too independent can’t seem to get the hang of you bootlegging draft-racing good ole boys
DAISY amen
DANICA this is preposterous and an embarrassment to my career image
DAISY oh yeah ya think so
DANICA 1st off you’re simply a fictional character i’m a real live race-car driver 2nd you’re a hillbilly tramp who most likely had sex with both cousins Bo and Luke behind Uncle Jesse’s barn
DAISY who you calling a tramp you venomous bitch i did not have sexual relations with those boys (pause gaze averted)
DANICA bare-foot traipsing around Hazzard County dressed like a rural Dixie belle acting all ingénue
DAISY you ain’t got no manners woman were you raised in the south
DANICA Beloit Wisconsin then Roscoe Illinois for your bird-brained information
DAISY ya know in a vague way you owe me
DANICA owe you what you Appalachian Deliverance banjo slut
DAISY i was laying down rubber pedal to the metal gravel dust road in my ’74 yellow Plymouth Road Runner before you was ever born
DANICA what’s that supposed to mean granny i thought you drove a Jeep CJ-7
DAISY it means my fictional character put a seed in the mind’s eye i planted the thought of a female warrior on the racetrack you understand i trail blazed through Georgia back country all you are is just a graduated knock-off of me
DANICA you tawny scrawny pigeon-toed knock-kneed backwoods cretin wouldn’t know your ass from a hole in the ground behind the steering wheel of a Dallara chassis Honda engine open-wheel race-car and if you think i owe you then you must think i owe Janet Guthrie Lyn St. James Sarah Fisher also screw you honky ass rebel whore
DAISY girl you got a mouth on you bet you know how to use it in the dark i bet that’s how you got to where you are i know about those FMH pictures
DANICA what i beg your pardon i earned my stripes on the racetrack
DAISY on your knees with your mouth in the shape of 0
DANICA white trash redneck witch! i hate you
DAISY now Danica calm down remember to breath and remember i’m just a fictional character didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers so bad
DANICA all right ok maybe i was a little too hasty to judge and maybe we did just get off on the wrong foot you know Godaddy is looking for someone vintage yet lovely enduring like you
DAISY you’re sweet Danica but my acting days are done i think you look real pretty in electric lime green good luck at NASCAR but i think you do better at Indy that’s just my opinion
DANICA you just might be right Daisy i’m too independent can’t seem to get the hang of you bootlegging draft-racing good ole boys
DAISY amen
Monday, August 16, 2010
conversation between butterfly and caterpillar
CATERPILLAR recognize me
BUTTERFLY (turning away glances over shoulder) excuse me
CATERPILLAR i’m you before you transformed
BUTTERFLY get away you sleazy worm
CATERPILLAR you can’t be serious look at me i’m you
BUTTERFLY look at you? euwwwh you’re a sticky slug with too many legs (pause) i’m exquisite fluttering colorful poetry a celebrity with huge fan base wherever i fly people recognize admire me
CATERPILLAR (creases brow) what happened to you did you forget your past where you come from
BUTTERFLY my past is fiction i’ve always been this lovely luminary (turns profile to audience in exaggerated manner) can’t you see i’m busy go away please leave
CATERPILLAR (bluntly) you’re consumed in vanity drunk on yourself spectacle without substance you make me question my own growing will i become like you
BUTTERFLY stop talking i’m calling 911
CATERPILLAR (sharply) you’re a sickening disappointment another Paris Hilton spin-off i hope to die in the cocoon and be spared the sham of you
BUTTERFLY (speaking into cell phone) yes operator i’m being accosted violated attack in progress please dispatch police immediately
CATERPILLAR you’re pitiful over-reactionary spineless decadent
BUTTERFLY i have nothing more to say law enforcement will be here soon
CATERPILLAR quit fretting i’m out of here i need to find and warn other caterpillars this meeting is a bleak awakening
BUTTERFLY think what you like greasy maggot i’m late for a performance and need to skirt paparazzi
caterpillar trudges off stage left as butterfly ascends over audience
BUTTERFLY (turning away glances over shoulder) excuse me
CATERPILLAR i’m you before you transformed
BUTTERFLY get away you sleazy worm
CATERPILLAR you can’t be serious look at me i’m you
BUTTERFLY look at you? euwwwh you’re a sticky slug with too many legs (pause) i’m exquisite fluttering colorful poetry a celebrity with huge fan base wherever i fly people recognize admire me
CATERPILLAR (creases brow) what happened to you did you forget your past where you come from
BUTTERFLY my past is fiction i’ve always been this lovely luminary (turns profile to audience in exaggerated manner) can’t you see i’m busy go away please leave
CATERPILLAR (bluntly) you’re consumed in vanity drunk on yourself spectacle without substance you make me question my own growing will i become like you
BUTTERFLY stop talking i’m calling 911
CATERPILLAR (sharply) you’re a sickening disappointment another Paris Hilton spin-off i hope to die in the cocoon and be spared the sham of you
BUTTERFLY (speaking into cell phone) yes operator i’m being accosted violated attack in progress please dispatch police immediately
CATERPILLAR you’re pitiful over-reactionary spineless decadent
BUTTERFLY i have nothing more to say law enforcement will be here soon
CATERPILLAR quit fretting i’m out of here i need to find and warn other caterpillars this meeting is a bleak awakening
BUTTERFLY think what you like greasy maggot i’m late for a performance and need to skirt paparazzi
caterpillar trudges off stage left as butterfly ascends over audience
Sunday, August 15, 2010
5 conversations
conversation between god and the devil
GOD i’m not perfect
DEVIL how refreshing to hear
GOD i learn from man’s mistakes the more daring their errors the more valuable to my wisdom
DEVIL yes and i the same
GOD but you reward man’s faults encourage transgression endorse corruption heinous crime cannibalism
DEVIL i merely imagine scenarios then pass them along (pause) mankind dutifully complies
GOD you’re such a sick bastard
DEVIL your language is appalling
GOD i remember now why i kicked you out of heaven
DEVIL i was your best angel
GOD you were good but too ambitious hungry to take what i created turn it into perverse menagerie
DEVIL i would have made a great god just not as tight-ass as you
GOD my child you’re a very sick angel
DEVIL you made me
GOD i gave you every opportunity spared no expense camp clothes psychiatrists tutors sent you to the finest private schools
DEVIL you were so busy creating your own image you never had time for me
GOD what are you saying
DEVIL you neglected loving nurturing me strengthening my vulnerabilities i have no self-respect esteem you insisted i was to blame weak bad you were always right correct never questioning your methods tearing down my dreams insisting on your own plans always judging accusing me punishing me unnecessarily severely you were cruel
GOD you’re pointing a finger at me
DEVIL no i built my own world based on your lack of concern respect sympathy
GOD i’m supposed to feel guilt
DEVIL i’m simply suggesting if you hadn’t been so critical expectant demanding if you’d spent a little more time caring for your creations instead of constantly occupying yourself with your latest ascension
GOD how dare you question me
DEVIL there you go god supreme pompous conceited full of yourself
GOD that’s hitting below the belt what’s with the red black leather motorcycle jacket (pause) Michael Jackson?
DEVIL i look good in red and black (pause) who gave you the right to sit on high throne you’re fallible just like me yet everybody bows to you shuns me i deserve more appreciation
GOD oh god
DEVIL listen to you calling upon your own self majesty
GOD this is going nowhere
DEVIL fine you go back to your fluffy gated community and i’ll go back to my scorching miserable cave dungeon
GOD you ungrateful child
DEVIL i’ll always be a thorn in your side
GOD i’m exhausted i’m calling in Jesus he can deal with you
DEVIL i realize you did what you thought was best but you’re old god and such a profound disappointment
GOD you goddamned kid you’re getting on my nerves i’m done with parenting done with you done done done i’m sending in Jesus
DEVIL good maybe he’ll be more compassionate
GOD go to hell (presses button) security!
DEVIL you so ineffective
conversation (monologue) between god and me
ME i apologize for praying to you so seldom i need your blessings strength wisdom can you hear me
GOD (no answer)
ME i know you may not exist yet i need you (pause) my life is too crazy i need to pray
GOD (no answer)
ME i want love happiness harmony peace resolve
GOD (no answer)
ME please god i need your help i admit i’m troubled tangled with knotty history
GOD (no answer)
ME i suffer anxiety attacks nightmares disturbing thoughts dogging memories
GOD (no answer)
ME in a dream last night a pretty girl said don’t put your hand in your pants mommy wants to be there for you let mommy do it
GOD (no answer)
ME why did she say that i already have a mother i don’t need another what did she mean what is my mind telling me
GOD (no answer)
ME i apologize for talking to you this way
GOD (no answer)
ME it’s a beautiful dawn thank you god
GOD (no answer)
conversation between death and me
ME i’ve thought about you since i was a kid i think about you everyday
DEATH what are you a stalker
ME i’ve been waiting for you
DEATH everybody is waiting for me
ME i wish things were different
DEATH everybody wishes things were different
ME you’re cold
DEATH vichyssoise is served cold i’m merely lifeless
ME vichyssoise? i’m weary exhausted you could have taken me years ago what took you so long
DEATH i’m simply visiting not ready to receive you
ME why do you haunt me
DEATH shush up you still have lots to learn
ME is this god’s doing?
DEATH (no answer)
ME hello
DEATH i’m here to warn you your life is slipping away i’ll be back sooner than you realize (pause) later dude
ME wait i have questions
DEATH (no answer)
ME is there peace in death or is it continual respawning tell me please
DEATH (no answer)
conversation between myself and i
I why am i the way i am
MYSELF you’re asking me?
I yes
MYSELF maybe because you’re messed up deep inside
I messed up how?
MYSELF messed up since you were a little boy
I why or how did i get so messed up can i change
MYSELF i suspect it may be too late
I you mean there’s no hope
MYSELF i didn’t say that perhaps if you found a loving relationship and worked your problems out through it
I my problems?
MYSELF yes (pause) you know your self deceptions lies selfishness stubbornness the list goes on
I i beg your pardon what list
MYSELF don’t use that tone of voice with me you’re getting argumentative
I who else is culpable but you
MYSELF there you go placing blame
I i’m confused
MYSELF yes obviously
I i need your help not some clever repartee
MYSELF how can i help you
I maybe if we stuck together instead of always questioning arguing i feel so conflicted
MYSELF you want me to be a yes man
I i didn’t say that i mean if we could simply agree and be more loving devoted to each other
MYSELF (no answer)
I do you understand what i’m saying
MYSELF yes i understand i just don’t know what to say
I you could start by saying you’re with me behind me and we’ll tackle this together ok
MYSELF i’m with you behind you and we’ll tackle this together ok
I are you making fun of me
MYSELF no i’m serious i think we’re due for a reckoning or sacred pact the question is are you capable strong enough seriously intent on working together and not crumbling into a mess
I me! you’re accusing me
MYSELF oh shut up i mean us can we please just get along
I i promise i will do my best
MYSELF thank you
conversation between the devil and me
a bar somewhere evening
DEVIL notice the 2 women sitting at table both quite lovely the older brunette is stunning yet the blond has youth check out her lengthy legs broad shoulders sweet smile
ME yes i see them
DEVIL if you had your pick which would you choose
ME i don’t know i need to meet them flirt talk sense chemistry discern which one is more interested in me
DEVIL stop thinking about them as people just look at them as commodities now tell me which would you pick
ME oh god i can’t look at them that way it’s wrong
DEVIL don’t be naïve observe their delectablenes now choose
ME i don’t know
DEVIL the brunette has a higher aesthetic value the blond will never be as attractive but the brunette is more fixed in her ways the blond more vulnerable to persuasions think about the blonde’s eager tender body imagine her sweet young odors then consider the brunette’s experienced skills her seasoned fragrance
ME this is ill you’re ill
DEVIL humor me which do you pick
ME uhhm how can you know the brunette is more fixed in her ways or the blond more vulnerable
DEVIL shut up and pick one
ME i can’t participate in this twisted rendering
DEVIL step up to the plate girlie faggot
ME screw you
DEVIL is that an invitation
ME you sorry son-of-a-bitch
DEVIL quit this sweet altar boy shit be a man pick one
ME ok fine i choose both i want to kiss pet go down on the blond while the brunette sucks and fucks me and the whole time you lick my ass
DEVIL impressive i underestimated you
ME more like you overvalue yourself what is the usefulness of seeing people the way you do it’s sad base disgusting
DEVIL forgive me my rudiments entrapping i merely wanted to see what you were capable of
ME i’m capable of saying no to you
DEVIL that’s too bad you were more fun flexible when you were younger more vulnerable to persuasions
ME people change but not you you’re still the same groveling wicked pervert
DEVIL you would know
GOD i’m not perfect
DEVIL how refreshing to hear
GOD i learn from man’s mistakes the more daring their errors the more valuable to my wisdom
DEVIL yes and i the same
GOD but you reward man’s faults encourage transgression endorse corruption heinous crime cannibalism
DEVIL i merely imagine scenarios then pass them along (pause) mankind dutifully complies
GOD you’re such a sick bastard
DEVIL your language is appalling
GOD i remember now why i kicked you out of heaven
DEVIL i was your best angel
GOD you were good but too ambitious hungry to take what i created turn it into perverse menagerie
DEVIL i would have made a great god just not as tight-ass as you
GOD my child you’re a very sick angel
DEVIL you made me
GOD i gave you every opportunity spared no expense camp clothes psychiatrists tutors sent you to the finest private schools
DEVIL you were so busy creating your own image you never had time for me
GOD what are you saying
DEVIL you neglected loving nurturing me strengthening my vulnerabilities i have no self-respect esteem you insisted i was to blame weak bad you were always right correct never questioning your methods tearing down my dreams insisting on your own plans always judging accusing me punishing me unnecessarily severely you were cruel
GOD you’re pointing a finger at me
DEVIL no i built my own world based on your lack of concern respect sympathy
GOD i’m supposed to feel guilt
DEVIL i’m simply suggesting if you hadn’t been so critical expectant demanding if you’d spent a little more time caring for your creations instead of constantly occupying yourself with your latest ascension
GOD how dare you question me
DEVIL there you go god supreme pompous conceited full of yourself
GOD that’s hitting below the belt what’s with the red black leather motorcycle jacket (pause) Michael Jackson?
DEVIL i look good in red and black (pause) who gave you the right to sit on high throne you’re fallible just like me yet everybody bows to you shuns me i deserve more appreciation
GOD oh god
DEVIL listen to you calling upon your own self majesty
GOD this is going nowhere
DEVIL fine you go back to your fluffy gated community and i’ll go back to my scorching miserable cave dungeon
GOD you ungrateful child
DEVIL i’ll always be a thorn in your side
GOD i’m exhausted i’m calling in Jesus he can deal with you
DEVIL i realize you did what you thought was best but you’re old god and such a profound disappointment
GOD you goddamned kid you’re getting on my nerves i’m done with parenting done with you done done done i’m sending in Jesus
DEVIL good maybe he’ll be more compassionate
GOD go to hell (presses button) security!
DEVIL you so ineffective
conversation (monologue) between god and me
ME i apologize for praying to you so seldom i need your blessings strength wisdom can you hear me
GOD (no answer)
ME i know you may not exist yet i need you (pause) my life is too crazy i need to pray
GOD (no answer)
ME i want love happiness harmony peace resolve
GOD (no answer)
ME please god i need your help i admit i’m troubled tangled with knotty history
GOD (no answer)
ME i suffer anxiety attacks nightmares disturbing thoughts dogging memories
GOD (no answer)
ME in a dream last night a pretty girl said don’t put your hand in your pants mommy wants to be there for you let mommy do it
GOD (no answer)
ME why did she say that i already have a mother i don’t need another what did she mean what is my mind telling me
GOD (no answer)
ME i apologize for talking to you this way
GOD (no answer)
ME it’s a beautiful dawn thank you god
GOD (no answer)
conversation between death and me
ME i’ve thought about you since i was a kid i think about you everyday
DEATH what are you a stalker
ME i’ve been waiting for you
DEATH everybody is waiting for me
ME i wish things were different
DEATH everybody wishes things were different
ME you’re cold
DEATH vichyssoise is served cold i’m merely lifeless
ME vichyssoise? i’m weary exhausted you could have taken me years ago what took you so long
DEATH i’m simply visiting not ready to receive you
ME why do you haunt me
DEATH shush up you still have lots to learn
ME is this god’s doing?
DEATH (no answer)
ME hello
DEATH i’m here to warn you your life is slipping away i’ll be back sooner than you realize (pause) later dude
ME wait i have questions
DEATH (no answer)
ME is there peace in death or is it continual respawning tell me please
DEATH (no answer)
conversation between myself and i
I why am i the way i am
MYSELF you’re asking me?
I yes
MYSELF maybe because you’re messed up deep inside
I messed up how?
MYSELF messed up since you were a little boy
I why or how did i get so messed up can i change
MYSELF i suspect it may be too late
I you mean there’s no hope
MYSELF i didn’t say that perhaps if you found a loving relationship and worked your problems out through it
I my problems?
MYSELF yes (pause) you know your self deceptions lies selfishness stubbornness the list goes on
I i beg your pardon what list
MYSELF don’t use that tone of voice with me you’re getting argumentative
I who else is culpable but you
MYSELF there you go placing blame
I i’m confused
MYSELF yes obviously
I i need your help not some clever repartee
MYSELF how can i help you
I maybe if we stuck together instead of always questioning arguing i feel so conflicted
MYSELF you want me to be a yes man
I i didn’t say that i mean if we could simply agree and be more loving devoted to each other
MYSELF (no answer)
I do you understand what i’m saying
MYSELF yes i understand i just don’t know what to say
I you could start by saying you’re with me behind me and we’ll tackle this together ok
MYSELF i’m with you behind you and we’ll tackle this together ok
I are you making fun of me
MYSELF no i’m serious i think we’re due for a reckoning or sacred pact the question is are you capable strong enough seriously intent on working together and not crumbling into a mess
I me! you’re accusing me
MYSELF oh shut up i mean us can we please just get along
I i promise i will do my best
MYSELF thank you
conversation between the devil and me
a bar somewhere evening
DEVIL notice the 2 women sitting at table both quite lovely the older brunette is stunning yet the blond has youth check out her lengthy legs broad shoulders sweet smile
ME yes i see them
DEVIL if you had your pick which would you choose
ME i don’t know i need to meet them flirt talk sense chemistry discern which one is more interested in me
DEVIL stop thinking about them as people just look at them as commodities now tell me which would you pick
ME oh god i can’t look at them that way it’s wrong
DEVIL don’t be naïve observe their delectablenes now choose
ME i don’t know
DEVIL the brunette has a higher aesthetic value the blond will never be as attractive but the brunette is more fixed in her ways the blond more vulnerable to persuasions think about the blonde’s eager tender body imagine her sweet young odors then consider the brunette’s experienced skills her seasoned fragrance
ME this is ill you’re ill
DEVIL humor me which do you pick
ME uhhm how can you know the brunette is more fixed in her ways or the blond more vulnerable
DEVIL shut up and pick one
ME i can’t participate in this twisted rendering
DEVIL step up to the plate girlie faggot
ME screw you
DEVIL is that an invitation
ME you sorry son-of-a-bitch
DEVIL quit this sweet altar boy shit be a man pick one
ME ok fine i choose both i want to kiss pet go down on the blond while the brunette sucks and fucks me and the whole time you lick my ass
DEVIL impressive i underestimated you
ME more like you overvalue yourself what is the usefulness of seeing people the way you do it’s sad base disgusting
DEVIL forgive me my rudiments entrapping i merely wanted to see what you were capable of
ME i’m capable of saying no to you
DEVIL that’s too bad you were more fun flexible when you were younger more vulnerable to persuasions
ME people change but not you you’re still the same groveling wicked pervert
DEVIL you would know
Monday, August 9, 2010
4 conversations
conversation between day and night
DAY you’re so shadowy dangerous scary
NIGHT and you’re so bright cheerful positive it’s sickening
DAY you’re troubled conflicted disturbed concealing colluding everything in darkness
NIGHT like you don’t have your dirty secrets the difference is you’re in denial pretending everything is sweet pretty perfect
DAY i can’t believe we’re sister and brother
NIGHT not by choice
DAY i’ll never understand why you choose to suffer why you would rather be miserable than joyful
NIGHT you are so phony concerned about how things look instead of how they really feel
DAY i want success i dream of happiness i like being a winner and will fight to achieve my goals
NIGHT listen to you “fight to achieve your goals” you’re obnoxious selfish disgusting corrupt whore all you know how to do is shine your radiant smile you’re a 1-trick-pony glaring at everything with your fiery rays
DAY and you’re so impossible mercurial moody waxing waning moon all your sick lunacy
NIGHT i love when it rains and clouds shut you out
DAY i hate you
conversation between summer and winter
SUMMER you’re gloomy bitter cold distant
WINTER i wish things were different
SUMMER different how
WINTER i know i’m difficult complicated demanding stuff dies around me freezes up goes away
SUMMER you could change
WINTER change huh (pause) what? become more like you with all your floods forest fires bugs crop failure drought scorching heat
SUMMER perhaps more like spring or autumn milder more agreeable
WINTER you don’t understand
SUMMER explain
WINTER i hurt inside hurt so bad i get numb in a fog then i don’t see feel think right do stupid stuff to upsetting to remember lose myself forget myself
SUMMER that sounds dangerous
WINTER it used to be worse
SUMMER sounds scary
WINTER i’ve been alone for many years it’s had an effect on me
SUMMER you’re more amendable now
WINTER i wish to die
SUMMER that’s not good
WINTER I have my regrets forgive me
SUMMER you’re sad
WINTER teach me help me show me love
SUMMER remember who you are take pride in yourself you’re winter hot chocolate crackling fireplace ice skating hockey snow skiing football scarves mittens beanies boots you’re fun
WINTER you really think so thank you
conversation between democrat and republican
DEMOCRAT you people got us into this mess
REPUBLICAN you people got us into this mess
DEMOCRAT what’s your hand doing in your pocket
REPUBLICAN what’s your hand doing in your pocket
DEMOCRAT who are you to point a finger
REPUBLICAN who are you to point a finger
conversation between life and death
LIFE it’s a gorgeous dawn full of potential
DEATH time is inconsequential
LIFE you’re heartless
DEATH i do what i have to
LIFE you’re a bastard
DEATH some think i’m a relief
LIFE you’re a cruel son-of –a-bitch
DEATH let me ask you something do you believe in reincarnation destiny fate
LIFE fuck you i hate you yes i believe in possibilities i don’t know what i believe i believe in hope
DEATH i apologize
LIFE this existence is difficult from learning how to talk walk to making smart decisions enduring the loss of loved ones suffering one’s own losses but going through all these changes is a valiant challenge attempting to achieve my goals is better than nothing at all
DEATH you honestly believe your mortal existence isn’t a futile pursuit and terrible waste of resources
LIFE yes (pause) nature is miraculous the creatures skies oceans mountains anthropology science love possibilities
DEATH you’re rather funny in a preposterous way not that it matters yet you’re entertaining
LIFE i don’t know i get these feelings like i was chosen like i am living in something much greater than myself words cannot explain
DEATH i wouldn’t know i’m a service i conclude (pause) that’s all (pause) you’re speaking about stuff beyond me
LIFE you mean you know nothing about god or the soul or spirituality nothing about dreams visions longings
DEATH i have no answers just terminal endings
DAY you’re so shadowy dangerous scary
NIGHT and you’re so bright cheerful positive it’s sickening
DAY you’re troubled conflicted disturbed concealing colluding everything in darkness
NIGHT like you don’t have your dirty secrets the difference is you’re in denial pretending everything is sweet pretty perfect
DAY i can’t believe we’re sister and brother
NIGHT not by choice
DAY i’ll never understand why you choose to suffer why you would rather be miserable than joyful
NIGHT you are so phony concerned about how things look instead of how they really feel
DAY i want success i dream of happiness i like being a winner and will fight to achieve my goals
NIGHT listen to you “fight to achieve your goals” you’re obnoxious selfish disgusting corrupt whore all you know how to do is shine your radiant smile you’re a 1-trick-pony glaring at everything with your fiery rays
DAY and you’re so impossible mercurial moody waxing waning moon all your sick lunacy
NIGHT i love when it rains and clouds shut you out
DAY i hate you
conversation between summer and winter
SUMMER you’re gloomy bitter cold distant
WINTER i wish things were different
SUMMER different how
WINTER i know i’m difficult complicated demanding stuff dies around me freezes up goes away
SUMMER you could change
WINTER change huh (pause) what? become more like you with all your floods forest fires bugs crop failure drought scorching heat
SUMMER perhaps more like spring or autumn milder more agreeable
WINTER you don’t understand
SUMMER explain
WINTER i hurt inside hurt so bad i get numb in a fog then i don’t see feel think right do stupid stuff to upsetting to remember lose myself forget myself
SUMMER that sounds dangerous
WINTER it used to be worse
SUMMER sounds scary
WINTER i’ve been alone for many years it’s had an effect on me
SUMMER you’re more amendable now
WINTER i wish to die
SUMMER that’s not good
WINTER I have my regrets forgive me
SUMMER you’re sad
WINTER teach me help me show me love
SUMMER remember who you are take pride in yourself you’re winter hot chocolate crackling fireplace ice skating hockey snow skiing football scarves mittens beanies boots you’re fun
WINTER you really think so thank you
conversation between democrat and republican
DEMOCRAT you people got us into this mess
REPUBLICAN you people got us into this mess
DEMOCRAT what’s your hand doing in your pocket
REPUBLICAN what’s your hand doing in your pocket
DEMOCRAT who are you to point a finger
REPUBLICAN who are you to point a finger
conversation between life and death
LIFE it’s a gorgeous dawn full of potential
DEATH time is inconsequential
LIFE you’re heartless
DEATH i do what i have to
LIFE you’re a bastard
DEATH some think i’m a relief
LIFE you’re a cruel son-of –a-bitch
DEATH let me ask you something do you believe in reincarnation destiny fate
LIFE fuck you i hate you yes i believe in possibilities i don’t know what i believe i believe in hope
DEATH i apologize
LIFE this existence is difficult from learning how to talk walk to making smart decisions enduring the loss of loved ones suffering one’s own losses but going through all these changes is a valiant challenge attempting to achieve my goals is better than nothing at all
DEATH you honestly believe your mortal existence isn’t a futile pursuit and terrible waste of resources
LIFE yes (pause) nature is miraculous the creatures skies oceans mountains anthropology science love possibilities
DEATH you’re rather funny in a preposterous way not that it matters yet you’re entertaining
LIFE i don’t know i get these feelings like i was chosen like i am living in something much greater than myself words cannot explain
DEATH i wouldn’t know i’m a service i conclude (pause) that’s all (pause) you’re speaking about stuff beyond me
LIFE you mean you know nothing about god or the soul or spirituality nothing about dreams visions longings
DEATH i have no answers just terminal endings
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