The dead ask nothing

The dead ask nothing

Nothing offers no answer.

Life makes demands.

She reminds me of someone.

I once was deeply in love.

The glass is empty,

yet she keeps sipping the straw.

The surgeon’s serrated saw,

severed crown of his skull,

to allow brain swelling.

The detachment is frozen,

in purgatory, in Paris, California,

in as much as I can gather.

I keep making

the same mistakes, over and

over. Eternity is preposterous.

She has same prominent forehead, same

brown silken hair, same slender fingers

as my ex, same buttoned-up betrayal.

“Man-up! You fucking son-of-a-bitch,”

she said, he said, their

ceaseless quarreling

makes me hide.

Stomach knots, breathing hurts.

The allure of her stink.

My sister insists

it will be okay.

The glass is half.

Mom can’t remember.

Everything fits neatly.

She burrows in the booth.

This one needs money,

that one needs parts,

liver, lung, cerebrum, heart.

Her hands cup the glass.

She gazes beyond.

Everything is a lie

Fourty-four minutes song (no musuc yet)

If there weren’t trails of evidence,

swear I wouldn’t say a word.

For forty-four minutes

she hurled her body against the door.

How do you explain what kind of crazy hurt it takes

to turn a night of sips of wine and no cigarettes

into trembling terror,

shattered bottles and empty pack of smokes?

For forty-four minutes,

she kicked the door.

I struggle with aging,

If it’s not a tooth, knees, or lung.

She promised, “I will always love you,”

her eyes full of dark confessions

For forty-four minutes,

she hammered the door.

she cut her hip nine times,

then she went home with him.

She said, “You knew I wasn’t happy.”

For forty-four minutes,

she knocked her head against the door.

There’s a lot of things you can’t know

until after it’s done.

The night the shit went down,

she smacked me so hard,

I never saw it coming.

For forty-four minutes,

she banged her fists against the door.

I cried, “No more lies, no more deceits.”

But we’re all traitors here

our own wickedest enemies.

For forty-four minutes,

she pounded the door.

No matter how sad, or mad a song,

there’s always an imp at the end,

who sighs a careless laugh,

and that mischief is me.

Does the devil always win?

For forty-four minutes,

she knocked her head against the door.

she kicked the door.

she banged her fists against the door.

she hammered the door.

she threw her body against the door.

Oh, yeah, one last remark.

I tend to destroy evidence.

She said, “You’re so OCD!”

but you can’t obliterate every memory,

I will always love her.

For forty-four minutes,

she knocked her head against the door.

she kicked the door.

she banged her fists against the door.

she hammered the door.

she threw her body against the door.

Wicked Games - (The weeknd cover) - Cœur de Pirate

Q series 2012 charcoal on paper 30"x 22"

sycophant slave snakes up leg of movie actress dictator

slave is someone who does not have authority over their own lives slave is someone subservient controlled dominated by somebody something slave works very hard for little or no pay slave is property of somebody something slave is someone forced to obey

sycophant is someone servile who overly flatters more powerful individual for personal gain sycophant is bootlicker brown-noser fawner flunkey doormat lackey lap-dog yes-men parasite toad-eater (pause reposition) somebody possessed of excessive vanity may cultivate sycophant swarms

side by side they stand clothed in black not quite similar the one slightly taller possibly because the other suffers poor posture perhaps they are related because in odd way they appear alike or of same ilk yet upon closer scrutiny it becomes apparent they have very little or nothing in common the taller one with troubled sad eyes the other smiling obsequiously the taller one more muscular erect from working menial labor the other with curved spine slumped shoulders because of undue bowing and crouching while blowing smoke up other people’s asses

sadist is someone who attains sexual gratification by inflicting physical pain shame to other people sadist is someone who delights in excessive cruelty degradation to others

masochist is someone who achieves sexual pleasure from being hurt humiliated abused dominated punished often self-inflicted masochist is someone who enjoys being harmed misused mistreated ignored by others

sadomasochist is someone who gets sexual gratification by alternately or simultaneously enduring hurt causing pain to somebody else sadomasochist is combination of sadistic masochistic tendencies in someone who obtains sexual pleasure from inflicting submitting to pain cruelty

sycophant slave snakes up leg of movie actress dictator who gains pain through pleasure 2000 miles from equator IED cell phone detonator sycophant dilettante sucks up to sadistic art critic or publishing editor on escalator while below on main floor of shopping mall ice rink figure skater pirouettes bows to nominator surreptitiously bribed by infiltrator mutilator

dead-end

perhaps the greatest anguish is old age to be confined in earthly suit of shriveled skin aching bones constrained by ever-thinning breath with no escape but hope of death

1

OLD MAN (cantankerously) why is it taking so long

DEATH i’m very busy right now my associate overbooked and i’m swamped with appointments

OLD MAN you’re telling me it’s your associate’s fault

DEATH who could of seen this coming

OLD MAN don’t you plan ahead

DEATH calm down old age relies on wisdom and patience

OLD MAN easy for you to say you’ve got eternity

DEATH i’ve got another caller may i please put you on hold

OLD MAN no! this is unfair i’ve pondered drifting away for years now i’m hurting bad and need your attention hello?

DEATH this is a recording if you would like to know your balance press 1 if you would like to transfer funds press 2 if you need to speak to a representative please hold (slow polka music begins)

OLD MAN damn you (pounds fist on bed surface)

2

OLD WOMAN i was once a dazzling beauty i could have any man i wanted i still look good for my age but i can’t get my table server’s attention i’m sick of this disrespect i want to speak to the manager

DEATH how can i help you

OLD WOMAN i’ve been coming here for years this is no way to be treated get me a menu and vodka on the rocks

DEATH please accept my apologies Madame but there is no vodka no menu

OLD WOMAN don’t you get smart with me

DEATH may i offer you a complimentary last breath

OLD WOMAN fine whatever (her crooked fingers wring napkin then straighten fold it on lap) i knew your mother and father they would never let you get away with this

DEATH you may be mistaking me for someone else

OLD WOMAN look at you with that judgmental glare in your eyes you think i don’t know what you’re up to

DEATH i’m here to serve you

OLD WOMAN that’s right now get me a menu and vodka on the rocks

DEATH i’ll see what i can do

Nancy is a new generation

Nancy is a new generation of computers programmed to respond biologically she has built-in human shortcomings including conflicted feelings uncertainty sense of soul pre-installed parts of her are dying she can feel it after elaborate shower focusing on specific body selections underarms feet vagina ass face allowing other anatomical regions to retain natural biotech oils lathering scalp with premiere restructuring shampoo conditioner she dries applies fastidious refined moisturizer emollients to forehead eyelids mouth neck areas vigorously massages special mousse treatment into brunette hair cut medium length brushes teeth rinses with spearmint mouthwash lightly rouges face with extra fine powder mist meticulously paints eyes lips with conventional colors finally adding distinctive subtle scents behind ears neck décolletage wrists thighs derriere toes tonight will be 2nd date with Rick handsome successful options trader who has no idea Nancy is extremely sophisticated complex doll meeting at catch.com on their 1st date Rick has too much to drink possibly owing to his nervousness or shyness around Nancy who possesses regal beauty bearing yet infectious smile laugh he spills 3rd drink then orders 4th drink Nancy becomes courteously standoffish

Bob’s LG electronic 27.5 cubic foot French door refrigerator’s water filter ice system located on door is malfunctioning spewing out brown fetid ice chips onto extremely intricate decorative parquet (palace style) floor consequently leaking into downstairs neighbors custom design ceiling dwelling to make matters worse Bob’s smart phone is on the blink his internet connection down due to unpredicted wild winds he is beside himself in isolated frustration compounding this calamity is foreboding realization Bob highly trained biotech computer programmer may have miscalculated tiny chip link inside Nancy’s cerebellum stem

as Nancy is about to open door for eagerly waiting Rick holding small gift box in hand with note that reads thank you for giving me a 2nd chance something quite irregular unforeseen pleasure fear motor impulse tenses snaps inside her head she reaches for door handle while other hand grasps butcher knife