Unspeakable

My life is a fraud

Posing greatness, I go home to empty bed

I remember a girl

It was heavenly lying next to her

Talking, walking, being with her

Countless fissures fitted, amazing minutiae

She was the one, paradise once

Dilapidation is order of the day

Death dwells among the living

Seeped deep in floorboards, forcing hands

Death is more real than God

Death is God

Why is this night different from all other nights?

I rouse from anxious nightmares

Awakening to truer horrors

What is believable?

Her lips were the best

Scattered into tiny unrecognizable pieces

Where she licked

I didn’t realize it was all her New York City connections

I thought it was simply

Her eager tongue

One last remark

This is not poetry

Who am I to utter

Ice-cream truck organ broadcasts

Tomorrow guarantees new beginnings

To an unforgiveable forgiven past

I miss her presence

My life is a frog